waiting

ummmmmmm...

...mmmmmm. maybe someday i'll decide if i want to revamp this and actually write something or just start over.
but for now.... just lurking the tqc. ya know.
wha

because why not.

okay well one of those stupid bolding surveys was supposed to go here but it wouldn't transfer the boldy parts so i'm not going to do that shit again. instead i will comment on my dislike of userinfos with pictures then captions in some foreign language (french) that the user does not speak. kiiiiinda lame. just sayin'.




OH YEAH ALSO.
shoooooooot. bryan's facebook says he is single. i don't know what to make of that. last i knew they weren't doing so hot anyway. i got interested in that. then i saw recent pictures of him and he kinda looks like a bum. but then i remembered i don't really care. i wish i could say something about wanting to meet again and see what's up but i'm sure that the only thing i'll be able to do is blurt out "HI BRYAN. i miss you." so for now i will sit back, let some time pass and try to figure my emotions out. i had been waiting for this day. but i didn't really think it would come so soon. i also didn't really think it would come. i wonder how much he's changed in the past years.

also i have a stupid crush on a boy named tyler. i know it's really stupid. i think he's 18. he's a smoker. but he's really nice, genuinely a pretty good guy. nothing spectacular except that he is absolutely smokin' hot and has the most beautiful eyes that there ever were and i totally want to do him. i might try for it if i wasn't in my current situation (see: a stale relationship.) but it's still a might, even then. but i really like flirting with him. and looking at him.

gosh.



i want a life-makeover.
(i wish the lease was shorter 1. because this place is kinda lame and 2. because i kinda really wish i didn't live with my boyfriend. i want my own room. i want more freedom. i want to be able to drink without him commenting about, no matter the comment, and not feel some sort of shame. i want to not feel guilty about not having sex or even not wanting to and not even kissing really. i'm tempted to say i just don't feel like it's necessary for me right now but then i remember that i would love to nail tyler. haha. (siiiiiiigh).)

waiting

we could hide the truth inside.

I lose track of everything and am terrible at keeping a routine. And I have no idea what to say. I'm just gonna start with what I eat. I wanted to start writing it down, after Jennifer had the great idea. But I haven't been doing it. Maybe it's for the better, because now, due to some money-tight circumstances, we are eating much better! Only from the grocery store.

So yesterday..
A can of pineapples and a hot dog at work.
Spaghetti for dinner.
One cup of Coke.
(FREE) Like it size chocolate ice cream w/ coconut from Cold Stone.

So far today..
Two packages of oatmeal.
And a hot dog I know I will eat at work.
Probably going to make some cookies before work.


Okay, okay. Maybe it's not exactly healthy yet. But it will get there, I promise. I'm going to devise a set grocery list for us this weekend.
  • Current Mood
    need to get motivated.
  • Tags
waiting

somali pirates.

Very long article by Steve Bloomfield in The Independent, Independent News and Media on 9 Feb. 2008.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/somalia-the-worlds-forgotten-catastrophe-778225.html

Article on what's wrong with Somalia and pirates by Nkwazi Mhango in The African Executive on 22-29 April 2009.
http://www.africanexecutive.com/modules/magazine/articles.php?article=4311
waiting

losing lots of keys lately.

You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans:

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offence.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You vehemently resist any form of pressure from outside sources, insisting on your independence as an individual. You want to be a decision maker - to make up your own mind without interference. You wish to be able to draw your own conclusions and arrive at your own decisions. You detest uniformity and mediocrity as you want to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions. Your favourite expression could well be that 'I may not always be right but I am never wrong'. You're a perfectionist and even though you may feel that the other person's point of view may be right, you find it extremely difficult to admit that you could be wrong.

It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own making simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial 'you' is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities. You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems.
waiting

i'm sorry for disappointing you.

it's been a long time.

it's hard because i'm so used to running on a whim.
it's a tough choice to decide when it's appropriate.
it's interesting how things jump in, fade, conflict, and change.
i almost despise myself for this.
seriously.


so much going on. so much to say. so much so much so much so much so much aaahhh.
  • Current Mood
    tired!
waiting

Cause i don't think that they'd understand.

Battle of the Bands was much more intense than I expected it to be. Seriously. They had everyone check their bags in, for safety and anti-substance reasons. There was a band from Bullhead, not so hot. A band from Tempe, pretty good. They're about to go on tour. Then Mountainface, Matt Stagner, Quenton, Jeff. I don't really remember what they played, but they were good. Then Jonathon Thomas & the Jiggawatts, also including Jeff Cummins, Richard Bullen, and Mark Little. Not bad. They covered "All My Lovin'" and had two original songs, with harmonica! Business As Usual, fronted by Bobby Rodriguez [Alyssia's little brother], some other guy, and Austin and Dillon. Everyone loves Austin. They were good, Bobby is a little bit full of himself, though. Austin sang a song he wrote, audience complete with waving cell phones. Don't remember the other songs. Then..

THE MIGHTY BEAVER.
That's right.

So Alex is standing in the aisle and the spotlight goes on him. He raises a flag with a beaver on it to some fanfare music. The curtain opens after he makes his way onto the stage, and who is their front man? None other than Carlo! Crazy stuff. Also, Stuart Watkins on guitar, Richard on guitar/bass, Taylor on guitar/bass, Alex on drums/vocals, Carlo on drums/vocals. They were pretty much amazing. I can't remember the first song they played, second was the New Found Glory version of Iris. Amazing, really amazing. Then My Friends Over You. They all had chemistry on stage, they sounded good, they moved well. My favourite. They definitely deserved the first place that they got.
Second was Mountainface. Third, JT & the JWs. It was neat.

I'm at Jennifer's right now. It's about one in the a.m. and I don't think I could sleep yet. I wish I had remembered to bring my gameboy. And some Arrowhead water. Oh well I guess. I've got the internet and my phone/mp3 player. I'm going to wake up at eight in the morning. Which is seven hours away right now, so if I'm not tired before two, that's when I'm going to try to make myself sleep. I'm really excited about tomorrow. Another thing I want to do tomorrow is write a letter to Ryan, my cousin.

So it's been awhile since I wrote that, I was myspace-in' it up yo. Janice is here, sleeping on the couch. I wish she wasn't sleeping. I feel like there's nothing much left to do on the internet, so I think I'll try to sleep now, or read something, or text James. Either way. The end.
  • Current Music
    The Format.